elderberrywine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elderberrywine) wrote2003-07-23 07:55 pm
elderberrywine) wrote2003-07-23 07:55 pm
Endings and Beginnings - completed 7/03
Sam readjusts at Rivendell. A continuation of "Confessional".
Rating: G
Title: Endings and Beginnings
Author: Elderberry Wine
Summary: Sam readjusts at Rivendell. A continuation of "Confessional".
Rating: G
Type: Non-slash, book-verse
Pairing: F/S
Endings and Beginnings
So here we are again, Mr. Frodo. Heading off to where a hobbit has no business going. Course, I’m keeping my mouth shut and hopin’ to be more help this time round. These great Men, and an Elf and a Dwarf besides, are making me more than a little nervous, even more than old Mr. Gandalf does, and that’s sayin’ a lot. So I’ll just be bidin’ back with Bill, but I’m watching them all, Mr. Frodo, never you fear.
I see that Strider (and if he’s a king then I’m Ted Sandyman’s uncle, which I ain’t), and I see him talking to Mr. Gandalf, and the both of them giving us hobbits a worrisome eye. They don’t think we’re going fast enough, I wager. Then that Elf and Dwarf, they don’t seem to get along noways. And that Mr. Boromir, now, he’s the strangest of all, I reckon. Looks more like a king than Strider does, but there’s something in the way he looks at you at times as is keeping me wary. He seems to think as he should be the one carrying that piece of trouble, even if nobody else does. At least Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin seem to be behaving themselves. So far. Thank the Valar for small favors, I say.
I never could have thought that this great Elf home could of started to feel homely, but it did, almost. I began to think if that Mr. Elrond would’ve given me a bit of dirt of my own to mess around with, and a chance to go back and see the gaffer and all on a reg’lar basis, why, I might have been that happy to stay here, if you wanted to. But in the end, I reckon that all this grandness doesn’t really suit us hobbits, and the Shire is the right size for us. But that’s not where we’re headed. Leastways, not for any time soon.
I never thought I’d find my way around this great place when we first got here. Course, I wasn’t looking’ around the place much those first few days. I didn’t give a single care as to whether I made that great Elf Lord mad or not, no, not even if I upset Mr. Gandalf in the bargain. I’d already failed you the once by not being brave enough, and I wasn’t about to ever let that happen again, now that I’d been given a second chance.
So when they led all of us into the room where you lay, so small and pale on that enormous bed, I planted myself nearby, out of the way, but where I might be handy-like. They wouldn’t be shooing Sam Gamgee out of this room, not until I saw you open your eyes and tell me that you were all right.
But that didn’t look as if it was going to happen anytime soon, not in those first terrible days. Both Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf were fussing over you with frowns and worrisome looks on their faces, and my stomach was that tight and heavy as a stone. I couldn’t eat, no, not one thing, and you know it has to be pretty bad to put a hobbit like me off his feed. It was. Those were the worst days of my life. For if these great folk couldn’t help you, who could? And I began to understand from their talking that there were worse things than you dying, and the thought of that made my heart hurt me something fierce.
That’s why, one day when they had left us alone, I thought to sit beside you on the bed and hold your hand. I was thinking that mayhap if you knew there was someone with you, it would help you find your way back. Your hand was cold, so bitter cold, but I held it tight anyways. There was the scent of pine coming through the windows, as well as others I could put no name to, but my heart was in the Shire and our garden at Bag End. I’ve never had no fine words to say, so I spoke of what I knew, of readying the garden for the winter, and packing up the potatoes and apples in the keeping room, and of how plump those squirrels in the old oak tree had been looking when we had left, promising a right frosty winter. ‘Tis silly to be thinking of such in a place so far away, but I did hope that you could hear me, and knew what I was really trying to tell you. That’s where they found me that evening, for I had fallen asleep where I sat, but strangely enough, they didn’t seem to be that angry at my foolishness. Why Mr. Gandalf gave me a little smile and a nod as if to say, “See, Sam Gamgee? I told you he’d be needin’ of you.”
Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin popped their heads in at least four times a day, and if they thought it strange that I’d be sittin’ here on the bed next to you, holding your hand and talking to myself, they very kindly kept it to themselves. Mr. Bilbo, of course, he was here through most all the day, but he did nod off so. It was mighty hard for me to believe when I first saw him, but he was finally looking all his years.
They kept trying to shoo me off, but it was the third day what did it. When that Mr. Elrond came at me the third time telling me I should go and get a bite and a bit of rest, I thought it hard to say no, one more time. And that’s how I missed it. I should of been there but I wasn’t. So when I got back, your eyes were open and you were laughing and chatting with Mr. Gandalf, and I missed your eyes opening; but you know, that really don’t matter, not really.
That didn’t stop me one minute from grabbin’ your hand though, right in sight of all those Big Folk, cause I just had to be sure. And it was warm, just as warm as anything, and you held my hand just as tight as I held yours. And your smile was that beautiful, as beautiful as the most glorious sunrise I’d ever seen, and I almost burst into tears like a great silly baby, but I didn’t. Leastways, not til later, when I could find a quiet corner and let the tears come.
The next few days were that full of bustle and such, I don’t rightly remember much o’them. Mr. Gandalf and all those great Elves were having important talks with you in your room, not for the likes of my ears, and Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin too were spending more time with you now that you were more lively-like. I kept myself out of the way, having naught to do as mattered, but it was a glorious day when you could finally leave your room and go sit with Mr. Bilbo in the Great Hall for meals. I hadn’t been there of a night before, for the singing and poems and the story-telling, and it could fair take your breath away, it was just that splendid. I sat close by to listen, so as to be handy if you needed something.
I had found Bill in the stables too, and it was a fair treat to see how plump he was getting’ to be. I wondered if he felt as lost in that stable with all those great proud Elf horses, as I did sometimes in the Great Hall, but when I mentioned it to him, he just stamped his hoof and snorted as if to say not a bit of it. He was good company to me, Bill was.
I had started to take him about for walks in the mornings, whilst you were in those meetings with the Big People. He got to stretch his legs for a bit, and I had somewhat to do. But you had noticed me gone of a morning, and asked me why. So the next day, when I was ready to take him out, there you were too.
We went up that path as goes up behind the Great Hall, do you remember, Mr. Frodo? I had found a pretty little dell up there with plenty of sun where the grass was still growin’ thick and green. Bill always did prefer what was growin’ on the ground to what they collected for him to eat. I was a little worried about the steep path, but you laughed and said the walk would do you good, and I reckoned that Bill could help out, if needs be.
It was a fine and clear morning, as was every morning I remember there. You know that a place is enchanted when the rain only seems to fall o’night. I don’t know how they managed it, but those Elves are always a wonder to me. I let Bill wander on his own to find his breakfast (and how that pony can eat fair amazes me) and we sat back on the grass in the sun with our backs against a warm rock ledge.
Ah, it felt good to have a bit of quiet time with just of the two of us, as we had so many days at Bag End, even when we had naught to really say. You had brought your pipe, and the smell of Old Toby surely was fine under those pines. I was thinking’ that I was glad I had brought enough for both of us for elevensies, as well as an apple for Bill, and was just starting to doze off when you spoke up.
“They tell me you were with me the whole time I was asleep, Sam,” you said, watching a smoke ring sail up into the air.
“Ah, well,” I felt a bit daft admitting it, “it’s not as if I didn’t think Mr. Elrond and his lot weren’t doin’ a fine enough job. I just thought I might be summat of a help if I stayed.”
“I remember someone talking to me,” you continued, givin’ me a glance. “I don’t remember the words themselves, but I do know it was all of the Shire. That had to be you, Sam.”
“Aye,” I could feel my face reddening now, “I don’t reckon that would have been Mr. Elrond.”
“Not likely,” you chuckled, still watchin’ me. “What I mean to say, Sam, was that helped me more than I can tell you.”
Well, I didn’t know what to say to that, so I stared at the spruce tree on the ridge as if I’d never seen one before and tried to keep from getting’ too red about the face.
“It was your voice I kept trying to get back to,” you spoke softly. “I might have never been able to get back if it hadn’t have been for you.”
It was a good thing Bill picked that moment to come up and nose about for his apple. All it was, was talkin’, Mr. Frodo, and it weren’t really all that much, but I didn’t feel it was right to say that to you.
“Well then,” I got up to get the apple out of my pocket, and the question that had been in my head for the past days popped out of my mouth. “Do you know when we might be startin’ back for the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It might do well to start before winter sets in hard.”
There was no answer then, and I took a quick look at you. You were frowning at the pipe in your hands as if the next bit wasn’t goin’ to be good news, and I felt my heart drop.
“I don’t know if I can go back to the Shire, Sam,” you said quietly and I never expected that. You looked up, and my face must of said as much, since you went on slowly, “Even if I gave up the Ring now, the Dark Lord’s messengers are still searching for me. I would put the Shire in great danger if I returned. Even here, I am not sure that I do not place Elrond and his folk at risk. There is to be a council meeting soon, Sam. Elrond is waiting for others to arrive here. But I know it will be a long while before it will be safe for me to return to the Shire.”
Well, that piece of news was a blow and no mistake. Here I was, just thinking’ of goin’ this far, with no mind to what would come after. But I never was much of a planner, save as for that which grows.
“Don’t worry though, Sam,” you went on, lookin’ back down to your pipe. “I’m sure Elrond will give you and Merry and Pippin a safe escort so you can return before the snows fall.”
“What, and leave you be with all these Big People to shift for yourself?” I was that amazed that the thought would come to you of us leaving you all alone here. I was starin’ at you dumbfounded, but you weren’t looking’ at me noways.
“You have family, Sam” you went on, so soft I could hardly hear you, ”as does Merry and Pippin. I don’t, except Bilbo, who’s here too. I can’t take you from them.”
Well, the very idea. “Mr. Frodo,” I couldn’t help my voice shakin’ just a bit, “I know as I didn’t give you the help as I should have the last time, but I do feel it’s hard that you won’t give me another chance.”
“Oh, no, Sam,” you cried out looking as startled as could be, your eyes opening wide at that. “It isn’t that at all!”
‘Didn’t I tell you I’d be with you and keep you safe?” I cried, my heart breaking at the thought of being sent away. “I promise you, Mr. Frodo, I won’t be so slow this time. I’ll help you, really I will. Please don’t send me off!”
“You can’t possibly blame yourself for me putting on that Ring not once, but twice, after Gandalf warned me against it,” you sprang to your feet at that. “Now, Sam, no one could have helped me more than you have. Just knowing you‘re there…,” and you broke off at that, shaking your head and turning away from me.
“No, that’s not it at all,” you continued more quietly, walking away from me to the shadows at the edge of the dell. “It’s the Shire where you belong, Sam. It’s where things are fresh and green and growing, and your family and friends are all about, and there’s nothing dark to creep into your room at night.”
I knew what you were tryin’ to tell me, but it seemed as you were missin’ the main point of the matter. I tried to point it out to you. “Aye, the family’s back there, but I’m thinking’ that one Gamgee bairn more o’less won’t be meanin’ the end of the Shire. And as for friends, why, the best friend I know is right with me and that’d be you, Mr. Frodo,” I added.
You stopped at that. “Do you really mean that?” you asked me softly, not turning around.
Well, if that just wasn’t the daftest question. How could you not be knowin’ that? “Mr. Frodo,” I began, and I couldn’t help puttin’ my arms across my chest, for all the world like the Gaffer did when he tried to knock some sense into my wooly-pated skull, “ever since I was a wee lad, it was you I could come to wi’ my foolish questions, and for all you was a tweenager, you never made me feel like the ninnyhammer I was. And who was it what helped me learn my letters? I tried learnin’ them with Mr. Bilbo, but they wouldn’t come to me, noways, not until you came t’help. And whenever I plant a patch of the prettiest posies, why it’s only you as would rather see them than a lot o’taters and cabbages.” You had turned again and I could see you watching me carefully, and the look in your eyes was warm, even if you said naught.
“And Mr. Frodo,” I added, my heart beginnin’ to rise at the sight, “you’re the only one as I’ve ever said my bit of poems to.”
You made a sort of choked sound at that, and turned back away from me again. I went on, and I’ve never asked you for more than I did right then. “Do you want me to stay with you, Mr. Frodo?”
I couldn’t help holding my breath right then and the only sounds I heard was the winds high up in the pines and Bill munching on his apple. And then, softly, so softly I almost thought for a minute as I had just hoped it, I heard you answer, “Yes.”
Well. That was that and all I needed and more. I tried to stay business-like about the matter, as I knew you were still that upset. “That was the right choice, Mr. Frodo, and no mistake about it, if I may be so bold,” I told your back.
You faced me again at that with a smile, and if your eyes were mayhap a little too bright, I wasn’t going to call attention to the matter, noways. “Well, that’s settled that,” I reached in the basket that Bill had carried up, and brought out our food for elevensies. “And now, Mr. Frodo, you need to build up your strength again, no mistake about it. I can go without food for a couple o’days, with naught to notice, but it surely ain’t the same for you.”
From then on, it was no questions asked. I was coming with you and no-one could say me nay. Of course, Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were bound to come too, but I’m thinking’ neither one of that pair thought to ask you first. Mebbe Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf figured that if they was in for two hobbits, there may as well be four. I reckon they didn’t calculate on the amounts of provisions that was goin’ to require. (How those Big People can keep goin’ on on such short rations, I’ll never know.) It seemed like no time at all before we was walkin’ over that bridge on our way out of Rivendell.
I never told you, but I did have a word with Mr. Bilbo before we left. You and he had been cozied over that book of his in Mr. Bilbo’s room, and as I was sittin’ there watchin’ the pair of you, I just couldn’t help remembering old times at home in the Shire. As you were leaving, I held back for a word with Mr. Bilbo. I knew full well it weren’t my place, noways, but I just had to ask.
“Mr. Bilbo, sir,” I started, and then felt my mouth get all clumsy and bothered.
“Aye, lad,” he stared back at me , and I felt like I used to when I had to tell him that where he’d wanted them taters planted was naught goin’ to be gettin’ enow sun.
“Why did you leave Mr. Frodo so sudden-like?” I finally whispered, and had to stare at my feet. “He was right lonesome by hisself.”
Mr. Bilbo gave a little chuckle at that, and I had the courage then to look back up at him. “Why, Sam-lad,” he spoke up lightly, “I never left him alone, now, did I?”
He knew I still didn’t understand at that, so he went on with a smile, “I left him with you. And I could never think of better hands in which to leave the hobbit I love most in all the world.”
Didn’t my face burst all red at that! He was still chuckling when he closed his door, and I scurried down the hall after you, but my heart was fair light that night.
Rating: G
Title: Endings and Beginnings
Author: Elderberry Wine
Summary: Sam readjusts at Rivendell. A continuation of "Confessional".
Rating: G
Type: Non-slash, book-verse
Pairing: F/S
Endings and Beginnings
So here we are again, Mr. Frodo. Heading off to where a hobbit has no business going. Course, I’m keeping my mouth shut and hopin’ to be more help this time round. These great Men, and an Elf and a Dwarf besides, are making me more than a little nervous, even more than old Mr. Gandalf does, and that’s sayin’ a lot. So I’ll just be bidin’ back with Bill, but I’m watching them all, Mr. Frodo, never you fear.
I see that Strider (and if he’s a king then I’m Ted Sandyman’s uncle, which I ain’t), and I see him talking to Mr. Gandalf, and the both of them giving us hobbits a worrisome eye. They don’t think we’re going fast enough, I wager. Then that Elf and Dwarf, they don’t seem to get along noways. And that Mr. Boromir, now, he’s the strangest of all, I reckon. Looks more like a king than Strider does, but there’s something in the way he looks at you at times as is keeping me wary. He seems to think as he should be the one carrying that piece of trouble, even if nobody else does. At least Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin seem to be behaving themselves. So far. Thank the Valar for small favors, I say.
I never could have thought that this great Elf home could of started to feel homely, but it did, almost. I began to think if that Mr. Elrond would’ve given me a bit of dirt of my own to mess around with, and a chance to go back and see the gaffer and all on a reg’lar basis, why, I might have been that happy to stay here, if you wanted to. But in the end, I reckon that all this grandness doesn’t really suit us hobbits, and the Shire is the right size for us. But that’s not where we’re headed. Leastways, not for any time soon.
I never thought I’d find my way around this great place when we first got here. Course, I wasn’t looking’ around the place much those first few days. I didn’t give a single care as to whether I made that great Elf Lord mad or not, no, not even if I upset Mr. Gandalf in the bargain. I’d already failed you the once by not being brave enough, and I wasn’t about to ever let that happen again, now that I’d been given a second chance.
So when they led all of us into the room where you lay, so small and pale on that enormous bed, I planted myself nearby, out of the way, but where I might be handy-like. They wouldn’t be shooing Sam Gamgee out of this room, not until I saw you open your eyes and tell me that you were all right.
But that didn’t look as if it was going to happen anytime soon, not in those first terrible days. Both Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf were fussing over you with frowns and worrisome looks on their faces, and my stomach was that tight and heavy as a stone. I couldn’t eat, no, not one thing, and you know it has to be pretty bad to put a hobbit like me off his feed. It was. Those were the worst days of my life. For if these great folk couldn’t help you, who could? And I began to understand from their talking that there were worse things than you dying, and the thought of that made my heart hurt me something fierce.
That’s why, one day when they had left us alone, I thought to sit beside you on the bed and hold your hand. I was thinking that mayhap if you knew there was someone with you, it would help you find your way back. Your hand was cold, so bitter cold, but I held it tight anyways. There was the scent of pine coming through the windows, as well as others I could put no name to, but my heart was in the Shire and our garden at Bag End. I’ve never had no fine words to say, so I spoke of what I knew, of readying the garden for the winter, and packing up the potatoes and apples in the keeping room, and of how plump those squirrels in the old oak tree had been looking when we had left, promising a right frosty winter. ‘Tis silly to be thinking of such in a place so far away, but I did hope that you could hear me, and knew what I was really trying to tell you. That’s where they found me that evening, for I had fallen asleep where I sat, but strangely enough, they didn’t seem to be that angry at my foolishness. Why Mr. Gandalf gave me a little smile and a nod as if to say, “See, Sam Gamgee? I told you he’d be needin’ of you.”
Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin popped their heads in at least four times a day, and if they thought it strange that I’d be sittin’ here on the bed next to you, holding your hand and talking to myself, they very kindly kept it to themselves. Mr. Bilbo, of course, he was here through most all the day, but he did nod off so. It was mighty hard for me to believe when I first saw him, but he was finally looking all his years.
They kept trying to shoo me off, but it was the third day what did it. When that Mr. Elrond came at me the third time telling me I should go and get a bite and a bit of rest, I thought it hard to say no, one more time. And that’s how I missed it. I should of been there but I wasn’t. So when I got back, your eyes were open and you were laughing and chatting with Mr. Gandalf, and I missed your eyes opening; but you know, that really don’t matter, not really.
That didn’t stop me one minute from grabbin’ your hand though, right in sight of all those Big Folk, cause I just had to be sure. And it was warm, just as warm as anything, and you held my hand just as tight as I held yours. And your smile was that beautiful, as beautiful as the most glorious sunrise I’d ever seen, and I almost burst into tears like a great silly baby, but I didn’t. Leastways, not til later, when I could find a quiet corner and let the tears come.
The next few days were that full of bustle and such, I don’t rightly remember much o’them. Mr. Gandalf and all those great Elves were having important talks with you in your room, not for the likes of my ears, and Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin too were spending more time with you now that you were more lively-like. I kept myself out of the way, having naught to do as mattered, but it was a glorious day when you could finally leave your room and go sit with Mr. Bilbo in the Great Hall for meals. I hadn’t been there of a night before, for the singing and poems and the story-telling, and it could fair take your breath away, it was just that splendid. I sat close by to listen, so as to be handy if you needed something.
I had found Bill in the stables too, and it was a fair treat to see how plump he was getting’ to be. I wondered if he felt as lost in that stable with all those great proud Elf horses, as I did sometimes in the Great Hall, but when I mentioned it to him, he just stamped his hoof and snorted as if to say not a bit of it. He was good company to me, Bill was.
I had started to take him about for walks in the mornings, whilst you were in those meetings with the Big People. He got to stretch his legs for a bit, and I had somewhat to do. But you had noticed me gone of a morning, and asked me why. So the next day, when I was ready to take him out, there you were too.
We went up that path as goes up behind the Great Hall, do you remember, Mr. Frodo? I had found a pretty little dell up there with plenty of sun where the grass was still growin’ thick and green. Bill always did prefer what was growin’ on the ground to what they collected for him to eat. I was a little worried about the steep path, but you laughed and said the walk would do you good, and I reckoned that Bill could help out, if needs be.
It was a fine and clear morning, as was every morning I remember there. You know that a place is enchanted when the rain only seems to fall o’night. I don’t know how they managed it, but those Elves are always a wonder to me. I let Bill wander on his own to find his breakfast (and how that pony can eat fair amazes me) and we sat back on the grass in the sun with our backs against a warm rock ledge.
Ah, it felt good to have a bit of quiet time with just of the two of us, as we had so many days at Bag End, even when we had naught to really say. You had brought your pipe, and the smell of Old Toby surely was fine under those pines. I was thinking’ that I was glad I had brought enough for both of us for elevensies, as well as an apple for Bill, and was just starting to doze off when you spoke up.
“They tell me you were with me the whole time I was asleep, Sam,” you said, watching a smoke ring sail up into the air.
“Ah, well,” I felt a bit daft admitting it, “it’s not as if I didn’t think Mr. Elrond and his lot weren’t doin’ a fine enough job. I just thought I might be summat of a help if I stayed.”
“I remember someone talking to me,” you continued, givin’ me a glance. “I don’t remember the words themselves, but I do know it was all of the Shire. That had to be you, Sam.”
“Aye,” I could feel my face reddening now, “I don’t reckon that would have been Mr. Elrond.”
“Not likely,” you chuckled, still watchin’ me. “What I mean to say, Sam, was that helped me more than I can tell you.”
Well, I didn’t know what to say to that, so I stared at the spruce tree on the ridge as if I’d never seen one before and tried to keep from getting’ too red about the face.
“It was your voice I kept trying to get back to,” you spoke softly. “I might have never been able to get back if it hadn’t have been for you.”
It was a good thing Bill picked that moment to come up and nose about for his apple. All it was, was talkin’, Mr. Frodo, and it weren’t really all that much, but I didn’t feel it was right to say that to you.
“Well then,” I got up to get the apple out of my pocket, and the question that had been in my head for the past days popped out of my mouth. “Do you know when we might be startin’ back for the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It might do well to start before winter sets in hard.”
There was no answer then, and I took a quick look at you. You were frowning at the pipe in your hands as if the next bit wasn’t goin’ to be good news, and I felt my heart drop.
“I don’t know if I can go back to the Shire, Sam,” you said quietly and I never expected that. You looked up, and my face must of said as much, since you went on slowly, “Even if I gave up the Ring now, the Dark Lord’s messengers are still searching for me. I would put the Shire in great danger if I returned. Even here, I am not sure that I do not place Elrond and his folk at risk. There is to be a council meeting soon, Sam. Elrond is waiting for others to arrive here. But I know it will be a long while before it will be safe for me to return to the Shire.”
Well, that piece of news was a blow and no mistake. Here I was, just thinking’ of goin’ this far, with no mind to what would come after. But I never was much of a planner, save as for that which grows.
“Don’t worry though, Sam,” you went on, lookin’ back down to your pipe. “I’m sure Elrond will give you and Merry and Pippin a safe escort so you can return before the snows fall.”
“What, and leave you be with all these Big People to shift for yourself?” I was that amazed that the thought would come to you of us leaving you all alone here. I was starin’ at you dumbfounded, but you weren’t looking’ at me noways.
“You have family, Sam” you went on, so soft I could hardly hear you, ”as does Merry and Pippin. I don’t, except Bilbo, who’s here too. I can’t take you from them.”
Well, the very idea. “Mr. Frodo,” I couldn’t help my voice shakin’ just a bit, “I know as I didn’t give you the help as I should have the last time, but I do feel it’s hard that you won’t give me another chance.”
“Oh, no, Sam,” you cried out looking as startled as could be, your eyes opening wide at that. “It isn’t that at all!”
‘Didn’t I tell you I’d be with you and keep you safe?” I cried, my heart breaking at the thought of being sent away. “I promise you, Mr. Frodo, I won’t be so slow this time. I’ll help you, really I will. Please don’t send me off!”
“You can’t possibly blame yourself for me putting on that Ring not once, but twice, after Gandalf warned me against it,” you sprang to your feet at that. “Now, Sam, no one could have helped me more than you have. Just knowing you‘re there…,” and you broke off at that, shaking your head and turning away from me.
“No, that’s not it at all,” you continued more quietly, walking away from me to the shadows at the edge of the dell. “It’s the Shire where you belong, Sam. It’s where things are fresh and green and growing, and your family and friends are all about, and there’s nothing dark to creep into your room at night.”
I knew what you were tryin’ to tell me, but it seemed as you were missin’ the main point of the matter. I tried to point it out to you. “Aye, the family’s back there, but I’m thinking’ that one Gamgee bairn more o’less won’t be meanin’ the end of the Shire. And as for friends, why, the best friend I know is right with me and that’d be you, Mr. Frodo,” I added.
You stopped at that. “Do you really mean that?” you asked me softly, not turning around.
Well, if that just wasn’t the daftest question. How could you not be knowin’ that? “Mr. Frodo,” I began, and I couldn’t help puttin’ my arms across my chest, for all the world like the Gaffer did when he tried to knock some sense into my wooly-pated skull, “ever since I was a wee lad, it was you I could come to wi’ my foolish questions, and for all you was a tweenager, you never made me feel like the ninnyhammer I was. And who was it what helped me learn my letters? I tried learnin’ them with Mr. Bilbo, but they wouldn’t come to me, noways, not until you came t’help. And whenever I plant a patch of the prettiest posies, why it’s only you as would rather see them than a lot o’taters and cabbages.” You had turned again and I could see you watching me carefully, and the look in your eyes was warm, even if you said naught.
“And Mr. Frodo,” I added, my heart beginnin’ to rise at the sight, “you’re the only one as I’ve ever said my bit of poems to.”
You made a sort of choked sound at that, and turned back away from me again. I went on, and I’ve never asked you for more than I did right then. “Do you want me to stay with you, Mr. Frodo?”
I couldn’t help holding my breath right then and the only sounds I heard was the winds high up in the pines and Bill munching on his apple. And then, softly, so softly I almost thought for a minute as I had just hoped it, I heard you answer, “Yes.”
Well. That was that and all I needed and more. I tried to stay business-like about the matter, as I knew you were still that upset. “That was the right choice, Mr. Frodo, and no mistake about it, if I may be so bold,” I told your back.
You faced me again at that with a smile, and if your eyes were mayhap a little too bright, I wasn’t going to call attention to the matter, noways. “Well, that’s settled that,” I reached in the basket that Bill had carried up, and brought out our food for elevensies. “And now, Mr. Frodo, you need to build up your strength again, no mistake about it. I can go without food for a couple o’days, with naught to notice, but it surely ain’t the same for you.”
From then on, it was no questions asked. I was coming with you and no-one could say me nay. Of course, Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were bound to come too, but I’m thinking’ neither one of that pair thought to ask you first. Mebbe Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf figured that if they was in for two hobbits, there may as well be four. I reckon they didn’t calculate on the amounts of provisions that was goin’ to require. (How those Big People can keep goin’ on on such short rations, I’ll never know.) It seemed like no time at all before we was walkin’ over that bridge on our way out of Rivendell.
I never told you, but I did have a word with Mr. Bilbo before we left. You and he had been cozied over that book of his in Mr. Bilbo’s room, and as I was sittin’ there watchin’ the pair of you, I just couldn’t help remembering old times at home in the Shire. As you were leaving, I held back for a word with Mr. Bilbo. I knew full well it weren’t my place, noways, but I just had to ask.
“Mr. Bilbo, sir,” I started, and then felt my mouth get all clumsy and bothered.
“Aye, lad,” he stared back at me , and I felt like I used to when I had to tell him that where he’d wanted them taters planted was naught goin’ to be gettin’ enow sun.
“Why did you leave Mr. Frodo so sudden-like?” I finally whispered, and had to stare at my feet. “He was right lonesome by hisself.”
Mr. Bilbo gave a little chuckle at that, and I had the courage then to look back up at him. “Why, Sam-lad,” he spoke up lightly, “I never left him alone, now, did I?”
He knew I still didn’t understand at that, so he went on with a smile, “I left him with you. And I could never think of better hands in which to leave the hobbit I love most in all the world.”
Didn’t my face burst all red at that! He was still chuckling when he closed his door, and I scurried down the hall after you, but my heart was fair light that night.